I'm still trying to decide whether to be grateful or offended that there are so many mirrors in my dorm. Go into the neighboring boys' dorm, which has the exact same layout, and there's nary a reflection in sight. I'm sure the guys can catch a glimpse of themselves when they're brushing their teeth or washing their hands, but as soon as I walk into my dorm, I'm assaulted by my image at every turn. Every unit has a full-length mirror that declares your presence as soon as you approach it. My room alone has two full-lengths of its own and one rectangular pane that captures my forehead every time I walk in the door.
And I fall for it every time. I see myself, and my first reaction is to make myself more presentable. Run my hand through my hair, smooth my eyebrows, pull my shirt down, adjust my jeans. Why? Is it my duty to be as attractive as I can? What am I trying to attract, anyways? Who cares if I'm any more disheveled than usual?
I know there's a correlation between attractiveness and how well one is treated or respected, but I can't imagine that comprises the entire impetus behind this impulse. The idea that I've internalized the compulsion to continually primp and groom, straighten and smooth, unnerves me more than it probably should. It's all part of being a girl, right? We all just want to feel pretty, wanted, desirable. So we steal glances in anything that gives the slightest reflection—window panes, rear-view mirrors, sunglasses, spoons, trying to assure ourselves that we look acceptable.
When you start to think about it, it's really odd. There is something to be said for seeking beauty. Beauty and truth are inexplicably intertwined in my mind, and I like to think that the pursuit of one will lead to the other. But for truth to lead to beauty, or beauty to lead to truth, surely it would require something deeper than a mirror.
5 comments:
That book I finished at the ice cream parlor was Why Beauty Is Truth: A History of Symmetry. Before descending into a study of European geniuses and quintic equations, it opined: "None of us can say why beauty is truth, and truth beauty. We can only contemplate the infinite complexity of the relationship." A more honest title may have been Beauty Is Truth: Don't Ask Me Why.
Did you fianlly realize looks aren't everything?
I read a review for that book a while back. Thanks for the summary; I guess I don't have to read it now! I feel like the idea of truth being beautiful is more easily defended than that of beauty being truthful. But I don't really know; I'll have to think about it some more...
Rachel, you say that like I ever thought that way in the first place...
Beauty isn't always truth... Some of the most attractive things in life are instruments of deceit. Most truths are hard and ugly. Beauty is in the imperfect eye of the beholder, but I believe that truth exists apart from our perception of it, and regardless of how we look at it.
haha Kaitlin, you're too much, kid!
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